


I'm Not Going to Fight (I'll Fight for You)

by wonker8



Series: Don't Hurt Me [4]
Category: Avengers Movie-verse
Genre: 4th Wall Breaking, M/M, More angst, NO rape, NO torture, bank robbing, questionable situations where nothing actually happens, shock collar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-01
Updated: 2012-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonker8/pseuds/wonker8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Deadpool screwed them over, and 1 time he almost got caught.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Going to Fight (I'll Fight for You)

1.  
“So… Wade Wilson is this guy named Deadpool, eh?” Tony asked, clearly enjoying the fact that SHIELD had been misinformed.

Fury, to his credit, nodded with clenched teeth, obviously annoyed by this but not taking it out on Tony. “Yup.”

“And he’s some sort of a merchant who’s been on the SHIELD’s radar, except not really?”

“Yup.”

“With the ability to heal himself, no matter the injury?”

“Yup.”

“And Wilson’s just some loser that managed to ‘accidentally’ kill some SHIELD agents after stealing some important data from SHIELD?”

“Yup. It’s why we needed to get rid of him.”

“And no one thought that maybe, just maybe, Wade Wilson and Deadpool were somehow connected before Clint was sent in to kill him? Or even that Wilson might be more than he was letting on?” Steve asked, joining the “Grill Fury Party” (as Tony called it). He didn’t sound gleeful or angry; he just sounded like a leader who wanted to know why one of his teammates just defected.

“Yes. As I mentioned, Deadpool is good at what he does.”

“Oh, and I thought SHIELD couldn’t get any worse,” Tony said as he dramatically put his hand over his forehead and made a swooning motion. “So here’s the story that I see. SHIELD was stupid and missed this critical information. Clint figured it out, broke Bruce’s heart, cut off all relationship with us, and is now off doing god knows what with this new guy in hopes of bringing him to SHIELD.”

“That is one of our guesses,” Fury agreed.

“That little fucker!” Tony growled. “I bet he had this planned for days! He knew he was going to hurt Bruce, that bastard! And he never even told us a single thing! Aren’t we supposed to be teammates?!”

“Enough, Stark!” Natasha growled back. “You don’t know him.”

 _And neither do you,_ Bruce thought to himself. _Then again, do I?_ He tuned out of the rest of the argument between Tony and Natasha, who were both trying to argue for their best friend’s sake. Steve alternated from trying to mediate the argument to shouting at them to shut up from time to time. Thor sat silently by Bruce’s side, giving him sidelong glances with a frown. Fury was rubbing his temples and talking quietly to Coulson, who actually looked a little shaken by all of this.

“Well, it’s not like we can do anything until Barton returns!” Tony yelled, throwing his arms up in emphasis. “When’s he coming back, anyways?”

Natasha’s whole body tensed, and everyone in the room understood without words that this wasn’t good. “It took him nearly five months to convince me that he wasn’t there to kill me.” She didn’t mention how much longer it took for him to convince her to work for SHIELD.

Maybe this was a good thing. Time should give Bruce a chance to think about what happened. Think about the café, think about this mission, think whether or not Clint really knew about Betty and really wanted to call things off. It should also give Clint enough time to calm down so that they can talk about this. Bruce snorted softly. Really? Was he really thinking about talking to Clint after all that had happened? Could they even talk about this? Would he even feel the same?

“Is there any way to track him?” Steve asked.

Tony snorted. “If there was, then they wouldn’t have kick-started the Avengers Initiative, which, by the way, was trashed before the whole Loki incident. Remember, Clint betrayed SHIELD then, too?”

“That was Loki’s fault!” Natasha snapped.

“My brother is to be blamed for that mess. But he has been appropriately punished, and I see no reason to point fingers at him,” Thor said.

“There’s something else that bugs me,” Coulson spoke up finally, cutting through another argument that was about to unfold. Fury gave him a stern but otherwise indecipherable look. “When Barton went rogue during the Natasha case, he fought tooth and nail against killing her. It just doesn’t add up that he would insist that he killed Wilson if his intention was to bring him in. Not to mention he actually turned in a report.”

Steve frowned, his forehead creasing with concern. “But that would mean that he either actually betrayed us or was just as fooled as we were when we found out about Wilson being Deadpool .”

“He will never betray us.”

Bruce looked up and scanned the whole room, trying to figure out who had just said that. Tony looked like he was ready to explode. Natasha looked hurt, almost lost. Thor looked torn between feeling proud and wanting to cry. Steve looked back at Bruce with a deep set frown. Coulson and Fury were both staring at the doctor with unreadable expressions.

 _Oh,_ Bruce realized with a start. _I said that._ But more importantly, his mind burned with the question of _Why?_

2.  
There was something disconcerting about waking up to find someone’s face merely centimeters away from his own, especially when the said person was wearing a strange mask of red and black. This, of course, was made worse by the fact that he was restrained with chains on what appeared to be a mattress on the ground. His limbs were spread out and tied down (exactly to what, he wasn’t sure), and the person with the mask was straddling his torso, and… Were those fingers tracing the scars on his arms?

Clint reacted as any sane person would. He blinked.

The masked person tilted his head to the side. Now that Clint refocused, he realized that the masked person had to be a man. This realization did not make this situation any better. Well, at least both of them were fully clothed.

“Erm… And who are you supposed to be?” Clint managed finally. The fingers stopped stroking and pulled away.

“I’m hurt! Even after you put two arrows in my eyes, you don’t recognize me?” The man asked, sounding much more amused than hurt. He reached over and pulled off his mask, revealing the grinning face of Wade Wilson. “C’mon, you can’t be as stupid as the world makes you to be at times! At least recognize the person you shot to death! Remember, two arrows? One in my left eye-” He pointed at his left eye. “-and another one in my right.” He pointed to his right eye. “Ring any bells?”

How the hell could Clint forget that? It was why he was in the solitary room in the first place! “How are you not dead?”

Wilson shrugged. “Ah, you know. Stuff happens when you’re awesome like me. But never mind that, you should be thanking me right now. I rescued you from the evil cages of SHIELD, after all. Now you can spread your wings and fly free!”

“No, I’m pretty sure you just kidnapped me and I’m not going to be flying anywhere any time soon,” Clint corrected. No, he wasn’t having a minor freak out while pretending to be cool. His shifting eyes were trying to find the way out, not because he wanted to get away from the man who, by all rights, should be dead. His limbs were not desperately pulling against the chains, trying to find a way out. And really? Chains? Even for a villain, wasn’t that pushing it?

“You can’t break out of those,” Wilson told Clint with a proud grin. “I made sure they were hawk-proof.”

Clint didn’t even want to know. He hoped that the look he gave Wilson said that loud and clear. “What do you even want?” he demanded. “If it’s information on SHIELD-”

“Psh! If I wanted information, I would have just taken it when I took you.”

“Don’t… Don’t say it like that! You didn’t take me! I’m not some toy to be taken! I’m…” He took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down. The chains rattled harshly, and it wasn’t even because he was pulling at them. “Okay, look. I don’t know what you want. There’s really nothing I can offer you and-”

“Really? You’re chained down on a mattress and you can’t think of a single thing that you can offer me? Wow, maybe you are as dumb as the world makes you out to be. And here I thought it was just this plotline. Oh, wait. Maybe it’s not dumb but naïve?”

Clint glared at the man on top of him. Could this get any worse? Just a day ago (maybe it was more than a day? How long had he been unconscious?), he had broken things off with Bruce, who, as it turned out, didn’t even liked him in the first place. And now he was in an… abandoned warehouse (How clichéd could this get?) with a freak of a man who Clint shot dead just a few days ago. Oh, and let’s not forget about the chains and the fact that Wilson was still straddling his torso.

“You… you can’t be serious,” he whispered softly. When did his throat become so dry? Then he growled at himself for sounding so weak. “Do what you want! It’s not like there’s anything left for me.”

“Ugh! Angst! You’ve found my only weakness!” Wilson shouted, clutching at his heart as if he was suffering from a heart attack. He fell off of Clint with a dramatic ‘whump!’

The archer stared disbelievingly at him. “You… What?”

Wilson repositioned himself so that he was on his stomach with his hands supporting his head up. He kicked at his feet in an almost little girl like manner. His face was still too close to Clint’s, but at least there was more distance between them now. Wilson nudged at Clint’s side with what the archer thought was one of the most disturbing giggles he had ever heard.

“Aw, c’mon, Hawky! That was pretty funny. Laugh with me!”

Clint continued to stare at the man in disbelief. “There’s something seriously wrong with you... Did you just… grab me for shits and giggles?”

“Well not entirely,” Wilson admitted with a grin. “I’ve never had anyone sneak up on me and put two arrows in my eyes before. Usually, they just riddle me with bullets or something else equally boring and leave, thinking they’ve won or whatever. But you? You’re different. You made sure that I was dead by shooting me not once, but twice. With arrows. Who the fuck uses arrows in this day and age? It makes you stick out and I like different. And since SHIELD obviously doesn’t want you, I want you to be mine.”

“And if I refuse?”

Wilson’s laughter was light and cheerful, almost like a delighted child who had been given the toy that he had always wanted. He took out a collar from nowhere and spun it around on his forefinger. “It’s cute how you think you have a choice.”

3.  
“You believe in him,” Thor said, looking at Bruce with awe. “But he thought…?”

“How the hell can you believe him?!” Tony exploded, throwing his arms up in the air. “He broke your fucking heart!”

“Tony, please. Not this again-” Bruce started, but he was interrupted by Steve.

“Can we please focus on the situation at hand? If what Bruce said is correct, then Clint’s been kidnapped by a well-known merchant for hire. We should be-”

“How the hell can I focus on the situation at hand when my best friend had his heart broken by a fucking ass-”

“Say another word and I will skin you alive,” Natasha growled. “Screw broken hearts, Clint’s in trouble!”

“All of you fucking children shut the fuck up!” Fury snapped. When he had everyone’s attention and silence, he took the time to remind everyone of the situation at hand. “We don’t know whether Barton betrayed us or not.” He glared at Natasha and Bruce before they could say anything else (not that Bruce was going to say anything). “And there’s just as good chance that Wilson would kill Barton for revenge purposes.”

“If he wanted to kill him, he wouldn’t have left that letter,” Coulson reminded.

“Which is why it’s more likely that Barton’s betrayed us,” Fury concluded. “In another words-”

“I get it,” Natasha gritted out. “You want us to kill Barton if we ever run into him.”

The rest of the team stared at Fury with dazed looks. Even Tony had stopped raging against Clint and suddenly didn’t seem to have words to speak. As strange as it sounded, Thor was the one to speak up.

“Nay! We cannot abandon our comrade like that! The Warrior Hawk has battled by our side for six full moon rises! I will never raise Mjölnir against my fellow Brothers-in-arm!”

“I’m with Thor,” Steve added. “Even if you say that Barton’s betrayed us, you have no proof. The American belief is innocent until proven guilty. You can’t tell us to kill a comrade who fought with us, shared meals with us, and was our friend. We’re not going to kill anyone.”

“I’m all up for beating the little shit, but killing? Aren’t we supposed to be… you know? Superheroes? We save lives, not take them,” Tony declared.

“Good luck convincing the Other Guy to kill Clint,” was all Bruce could manage.

Fury turned to look at Natasha. “You as well?”

She closed her eyes before gulping slowly. “I will do what needs to be done if I deem it necessary.”

Fury rolled his one eye. “Basically, none of you will kill him. Fine. If that’s how you want to do this, then that’s how we’ll do it. You don’t want to kill a potential traitor? Then don’t kill him. But don’t get in SHIELD’s way of getting rid of trash.”

Bruce couldn’t have been the only one who saw Coulson flinch at the term. He couldn’t have been the only one who tensed at the term. He couldn’t have been the only one who bared his teeth, his blood boiling at the thought of SHIELD getting Clint… But he was probably the only one who paused to wonder why he was reacting this way. He closed his eyes to breath, to calm down. The last thing they needed was for the Other Guy to wreck the Stark Tower.

The sound of a cellphone buzzing caught everyone’s attention. Fury pulled out his phone, glared at the contact, and answered it. “There better be a fucking good reason why you are calling me, Hill,” he snapped.

Everyone could hear chatter on the other line, because everyone was watching with bated breath. What had happened? Did they find Clint?

“If a bank’s been robbed, you call the police,” Fury grouched, sarcasm clear in his voice. Then he paused as he listened to the rest of Hill’s explanation. The change was instantaneous and no one in the room missed it. The director of SHIELD suddenly looked tense, suddenly looked… worried? Then with a few words of confirmation, he shut the cellphone.

“You said you wanted proof that Barton betrayed us?” he asked, looking mainly at Steve. But he looked at everyone else, too. Made sure that everyone was listening (Bruce wanted to make him hurry up and spill what was going on). “Here’s the proof. He’s robbing a bank with Deadpool.”

No one knew what to say to that. But Fury wasn’t done speaking. “They have hostages, and it doesn’t look pretty for anyone. SHIELD’s going to the scene right now, and they’re going to put him down.”

They were all staring at Fury, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. Bruce didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think. For how long did Clint plan on betraying the team? Would he have still betrayed everyone if he didn’t find out about Betty? Would he still be smiling with the team, joking and laughing? But more so than that, were they really going to kill Clint?

“Not if we get there first.” Bruce, once again, had spoken up without him realizing. It was starting to become a habit, and he wasn’t too sure if he was okay with it.

“Then it’s a race.”

4.  
“You know, when you said you wanted me to be yours, this isn’t what I had in mind.”

Wilson laughed at that. The creepy mask was back on his face, and Clint really didn’t like seeing it. The archer pointed his arrow at the hostages, wincing mentally at the terrified looks on their faces. It was times like these that he wished he had telepathic abilities so that he could assure those people that he wasn’t going to hurt them. He couldn’t say the same for his crazy ‘partner’ besides him, but it was the thought that counted, right?

“I knew you had some snark left in you!” Wilson whooped with pride. He swung both of his swords around in a circle, almost carelessly, before putting them away. “Granted, you need more work on your delivery and wording. But don’t worry, Hawky. As long as you keep hanging out with me like this, you’ll get the hang of it in no time at all!”

Clint gritted his teeth and began to take a step away. But before he could, his whole body tensed up, and he could feel the electric shock running through his system. He hissed, refusing to let any other sign of pain appear obvious. Then the shock subdued, his muscles spasmed, and he felt his knees tremble. A solid body was next to his within minutes, holding him steady.

“Told you not to go too far,” Wilson whispered softly in Clint’s ear. He tapped at the shock collar around Clint’s neck that had been disguised as a sub’s collar. “Packs quite a punch, doesn’t it?”

The archer pulled himself away sharply, snarling lightly. “Are we done here or not?”

“Well…” Wilson began. He glanced around the bank, taking in the fear on the hostage’s faces. The security camera had long been disabled after Wilson and Clint made sure that SHIELD would be able to see their faces on it. Outside, the police was waiting for them and extra help from SHIELD, not realizing what Deadpool was really planning. He grinned. “Do you see any SHIELD agents nearby?”

Clint glanced out the window with a frown. “No… Wait. There are black cars coming. SHIELD’s coming, alright. Now what? We surrender and they riddle us with bullets?”

“Nope!” Wilson’s grin widened almost manically. “Now we fight them and show them exactly what they’ve lost.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to kill them.”

“But if you don’t, they’ll riddle you with bullets, remember? You’re a traitor. I’ve explained it very clearly to you, didn’t I? I’ve outlined every single thought that’ll cross their mind. Especially now that they’ve seen you with me trying to rob a bank, they’re going to be after you.” He stared at Clint who stared back with unmovable will. Wilson rolled his eyes. “Fine. We’ll run.”

Clint did not miss that Wilson left the money bag to the side as the two ran out of the bank. When the police opened fire, Wilson swung his sword around in quick beautiful circles, deflecting the bullets and sending a few back. From right behind him, Clint took careful aim and brought down officers without killing them. He also managed to squeeze in a few shots at tires, which should give the two few more minutes to get away.

With the officers quickly taken care of, Deadpool lead the way to the getaway car that had been parked to the side of the road by the bank. He motioned for Clint to get in the driver’s seat and the archer realized with a start what Wilson wanted. If Clint wasn’t going to shoot at the SHIELD agents, then Wilson wanted Clint to outdrive them in an epic car chase, possibly causing even greater a ruckus by doing so.

“I hate you,” Clint groaned.

Wilson rolled his eyes. “Seriously, you need better snark.”  
*  
“Holy shit, holy shit, how the hell did we survive that?” Clint asked as he tried to calm himself from having a panic attack.

He glanced around and assured himself that they were away from danger. They were parked in an alleyway somewhere, hidden from view. The car chase hadn’t lasted longer than ten minutes until SHIELD and the Avengers joined the fray. Luckily for Clint and Wilson, the two groups were more interested in arguing with one another and fighting amongst themselves than to actually focus on the car. Now, a good twenty minutes later, Clint was breathing hard in the driver’s seat, trying to figure out how the hell they just outdrove both SHIELD and the Avengers.

“I told you that there’s nothing to worry about!” Wilson said with a loud laugh. He shook his head. “Man, I knew you were good, but that just blew my mind! You have the driving skills of Jason Bourne combined with James Bond. I’ve never been in a car chase before, but that one… I will remember forever.”

“Why were we trying to rob the bank anyways?” Clint demanded. “You didn’t even take the money!”

“I don’t need the money.”

There was a pause as the archer’s brain put the puzzle pieces together and came up with the answer. He groaned. “Don’t tell me that was a fucking test? Why are you testing me anyways?”

“Well, I’m obviously not going to team up with someone who can’t hold his own in a car chase,” Wilson said while he flicked his wrist as if to say “Duh!” He nudged at Clint’s side, getting buddy-buddy in a manner that the archer really didn’t appreciate. “Now that you’ve passed, we can leave here and get real jobs.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Look, I’m not going with you. I’m going to go back to them and explain what the hell happened and-”

“You know they’ll shoot you dead before you get the chance, right?”

Clint rolled his eyes. “Yes, you already told me. I’d rather die, alright? I’ve gone down the assassin-for-hire route before and I didn’t like it. I’m not going back there. Not for you, not for ‘Tasha, not for Bruce.”

“Bruce?” Wilson asked, tilting his head to the side. “Doctor Banner? The big green monster, right? Funny that you mention him instead of anyone else. But didn’t you break up? I was there, you know. At the café. Heard every word you guys said.”

The archer stilled. He glanced over at the masked man, his eyes shining with fear and suspicion. He opened his mouth, ready to say something, but Wilson beat him to it. The masked man unclipped his seatbelt and, in one smooth movement, sat on Clint’s lap, his legs on either side of the body.

“Do you know why you never have happy relationships? It’s because you always look for someone with scars. You try to find someone with deep emotional or physical scars so that they won’t run from you. So that they won’t be terrified of your own. But every single time, it doesn’t work that way, does it? Everyone sees your scars and go running for the hills. And the one time you think you’ve finally found the one, it turns out that he doesn’t even love you.”

Clint gulped harshly, but he couldn’t disagree with Wilson’s logic. The words “it’s not like that” was on the tip of his tongue, ready to make their presence known, but Clint couldn’t get them out. He couldn’t seem to figure out how to make his vocal chords work. He looked away instead towards the passenger seat, trying to ignore the way Wilson was slowly reaching over and rubbing gentle circles on Clint’s arms.

“Aren’t you trying too hard? Running after monster after monster, all because you want an ounce of affection thrown your way. All because you want someone to wrap their arms around you. All because you crave to be loved.” Wilson’s hands slowly made their way up, feeling the muscular arm until they came to rest on Clint’s collar. “So you keep running. You’ll find someone else soon. Someone else that you think has worse scars than Bruce Banner. And you’ll hold that new person like you love them, but they’ll leave you too. They’ll all leave you, Clint.”

“Are you going to leave me, too?”

There was a ghost of a smile on the mask. Then Wilson slowly closed the distance between them, putting the clothed lips against Clint’s. It was an odd sensation. Clint had kissed plenty of times before, but never through cloth. Never like this. Mouth against mouth was easy, one could feel everything, could tell whether someone was into it or not. But with cloth blocking the access, Clint had to work at it to guess what Wilson was feeling. What he was thinking. What Clint should do next to maximize the pleasure…

_The first time Clint tried to kiss Bruce, it was two days after their third date. Usually, Clint would have been way past third base by now, but he didn’t want to rush Bruce. He wanted things to last. With Bruce, he wanted things to go slowly, to savor each moment._

_They were in Bruce’s lab, Tony on the other side of the lab ‘supervising’ them. But really, with the way the two scientists got into their work, there really was nothing to supervise. Clint leaned in close, watching the way Bruce’s forehead creased with concentration as he tried to figure something out that Clint hadn’t really been paying attention to. Then just as suddenly, he turned around to face Clint with an excited look on his face._

_“Look! Look!” he said, almost childishly. He pulled Clint close to him, trying to show him the dials of the microscope. Then his mouth was moving a mile a minute, detailing all the little information that Clint really didn’t quite catch. But that was okay. Bruce looked so happy, his eyes locked onto Clint as he continued to talk, a wide grin on his face._

_Clint decided that it was time._

_He leaned forward, slowly closing the distance between them. Bruce’s eyes tracked his movement and the words died on his throat. He stared at Clint, and the archer could literally hear the gears churning in Bruce’s mind. Clint was only inches away from Bruce’s lips. If this was anyone else, he would have already kissed the man thoroughly, but Bruce needed the space. Bruce needed things slow. Clint could go slow._

_But instead of closing the distance, Bruce turned away. Clint didn’t have to be a psychic to know what that meant. He stopped his advances._

_“Sorry,” Bruce whispered softly._

_Clint tried to laugh it off, tried to make it seem like he wasn’t disappointed. He wanted Bruce to see that this wasn’t about sex. This wasn’t about the thrill. He really wanted Bruce to be invested in this as much as he was. So he put everything into turning that few seconds into nothing. Clint smiled._

_“Maybe next time?”_

_Bruce didn’t answer. That should have been a fucking sign. Bruce didn’t answer._

Wade pulled back away from the kiss. He reached up to his mask and pulled it off, gracing Clint with brilliant brown eyes that glistened with lust and excitement. The archer closed his eyes as their mouths met for real, Wade’s hands roaming his body and Clint’s hands tentatively exploring the body above him. Solid and real. Just as he hoped Bruce’s would be.

How many times had he imagined it? Holding Bruce’s frame in his arms, exploring his body, kissing every freckle he came across… But that had been all. It had all been just an imagination, just a dream. But Wade was real. Wade was in front of him, kissing him as if to devour him. Wade was pulling them close, and Clint found his arms between them, his fingers clutching at Wade’s costumed chest.

Then Wade pulled back. “Clint?” he whispered softly.

And it was only then did Clint realized that he was sobbing softly, that his whole body was shaking, that there were trails of tears falling down his cheeks. He shook his head, trying to get himself in control, but for an unfathomable reason, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t bring the shaking to an end. He just couldn’t stop the tears.

There was a soft sigh before a pink tongue licked at the salty liquid. Wade rested his forehead against Clint’s. “It’s okay,” he whispered.

“No, it’s not,” Clint hissed back fiercely. “It’s not okay. It’s not fair at all. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just… It’s not… I’m…”

“It’s okay,” Wade insisted.

Clint took a deep breath. “No. It’s not okay at all. You’re… God, you’re amazing. You can spin your swords and stop bullets, for Pete’s sake! You’re sweet and funny and just… _amazing_. But you’re not him. _You’re not him_.”

“I know,” Wade sighed. He tugged Clint’s head until his face leaned against the red and black tights of Wade’s chest. “I know,” he whispered again.

And Clint stayed in Wade’s arm, letting the assassin gently run his fingers through his short blonde hair as Wade whispered soft “I know”s. It was a comfort that he hadn’t experienced since he was a small boy, curled against his mother’s bruised body with his brother as she whispered soft lullabies into the night. It was a comfort that he never experienced with Bruce.

5.  
It took exactly two hours for SHIELD and the Avengers to stop fighting long enough to agree that Deadpool and Hawkeye were long gone. The Avengers all returned to the Tower without a fight. But as soon as they got there, everyone began work to track the elusive agent and his apparently new partner.

“Tony, I’m sure that’s illegal,” Steve pointed out as he stared slacked-jawed at the sight of Tony in front of a wall of videos.

“Only if I was using this for perverted reasons, which I am not. I’m just using this to find our dearest archer,” the mechanic assured him. He then continued to scan through the security cameras that were in the neighborhood when the crime had occurred, rewinding them to at least three hours before to make sure that he didn’t miss any detail.

As Tony Stark used the city’s security detail for his own purposes (with Steve watching the videos with him in silent disproval), Natasha called up favors, asking around if Clint’s other aliases has been used anywhere. Thor, meanwhile, sat next to Bruce. From the heavy silence between the two, the doctor had at first assumed that they were the most useless in this case, and they might as well as help Tony. But then Thor opened his mouth to talk.

“Before all of this,” Thor said, waving his hand in the air. “The Warrior Hawk and I have discussed something that I believe would be beneficial if we also talk about it, Doctor.”

“There really is nothing to talk about, Thor,” Bruce said softly. “We came to an agreement. We’re both better off without one another.”

The God of Thunder frowned. “No, Doctor. That’s not the story that I heard. Clinton said that you didn’t care about him anymore.”

 _It’s not ‘don’t care about,’ Thor. It’s ‘don’t love.’_ Bruce sighed and rubbed his temples. How to make the rather naïve god see this?

“However, you were the first to defend him. I really don’t think the Hawk’s correct in his first assumption. Both of you still care deeply for one another. I do not know if it’s not love that’s between you, or what your agreement was. But I do know that you were both very happy with one another. That you both enjoyed being together. Verily, my friend.”

“Sometimes, that’s not enough.”

Thor’s eyes saddened. “Perhaps you’re right.” And he had a faraway look in his eyes that happened every time the god was lost in thought about Loki.

Bruce thought that this situation was very different from that.

“Holy shit! I’m a genius!” Tony shouted from the wall of videos.

It was enough to move Thor, Bruce, and Natasha to the area to see what was going on. Tony had one video blown up large against the wall, and he was looking at it like a dog that had finally caught the evil cat. He patted Bruce’s shoulder almost comfortingly.

“Don’t worry, man. We’ll have him back here soon enough. I call first dibs on beating him!”

But Bruce’s eyes were staring at the video. The video was angled so that it looked at the world with a slight down angle, implying that it was set somewhere high. The video mainly showed the car roof, but the driver’s seat could be clearly seen from the angle.

Clint was sitting there, shaking slightly. There was no audio, but audio wasn’t needed. Bruce could already hear Clint’s panic, Clint’s annoyance, Clint’s frustration of running away. Then Wilson moved to sit on top of Clint, and all thoughts of predicting Clint’s words flew out of Bruce’s mind.

No one dared to breathe as they watched the clip. Almost as if they were all hypnotized. Bruce would have found that amusing if it wasn’t for the fact that his own breathing had stopped. Because in the clip, Clint and Wilson were impossibly close, almost as if they were… But no. That couldn’t be, right?

Then Wilson took off his Deadpool mask, and the two resumed their activities, and Bruce couldn’t watch anymore. But his body wouldn’t listen to his brain and he found himself utterly frozen to the spot. There once was a time when Clint wanted to kiss Bruce. Once upon a time, when Clint still believed in the lie that they were in love. He tried from time to time, always moving slow, always telegraphing his move and intentions so that Bruce had the choice to refuse. And every single time, Bruce had refused.

So why was his heart gasping to continue beating, his eyes stinging with betrayal, and his body shivering with grief?

Damn it, Bruce didn’t like Clint! Bruce loved Betty! Bruce loved Betty, and Clint had just been someone who made things easier when he felt lonely. There was no betrayal about that. There was no grief about that. There was no heartache. Then why did it hurt worse than when Betty called things off? Why did seeing Clint kiss Wade Wilson make the whole world fall apart?

The two on the screen were no longer kissing. Instead, Wilson held Clint in his arms, stroking the short blonde locks that Bruce used to run his fingers through whenever Clint curled up on his lap during movie nights and…

Wilson looked straight into the security camera and _smirked_.

“Fuck,” someone said.

And Bruce couldn’t help but to agree, because fuck. Was there any other word required for this?

Then Natasha threw down the cellphone that she had been on for the longest time. “They’re no longer here,” she declared. “Someone spotted Clint leaving the country with another guy. I’m guessing Deadpool.”

Everyone’s eyes were on Bruce now. Waiting. But what did they want? Couldn’t they see that this was better for Clint? They could both get enough time to think things through and Clint wouldn’t have to be hurt by Bruce anymore. They didn’t have to live in a lie anymore. Clint could finally be with someone who loved him back as fiercely as Clint loved. Clint could be happy.

Steve patted Bruce’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, his voice rough with anger. Then he walked off, anger radiating off of him in waves. Even without saying anything, everyone knew he was off to the gym.

Tony pulled Bruce into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said. And he sounded like he meant it, and he probably did. He was probably blaming himself for this as well. Then Tony ran off, and Bruce knew that he was just trying to hide his own guilt and anger.

Natasha looked at Bruce. “I was wrong,” she admitted. Then she looked torn, because she loved Clint like a brother, and she might have been used to forgiving him when he was stupid, but this was beyond just stupid. She hurried out of the room as well, leaving the cellphone on the ground.

Thor just sighed heavily. “Maybe we were all wrong,” he said. His eyes were sad as he stared as Clint restarted the car in the video and drove off. He closed his hands into a fist. “I cannot believe you, Hawk.” Then he turned away with another heavy sigh and left.

And only after everyone had left did Bruce collapse to his knees. This felt like a goodbye. This felt permanent. And he realized that this was a goodbye. That this was permanent. And it was much too late for anything else.

+1.  
Two weeks.

It had been two weeks since Bruce asked Clint out on a date to a café. It had been two weeks since Clint asked Bruce about Betty. It had been two weeks since they both came to an agreement that they were better off alone. Since then, life had been a rollercoaster of trying to save Earth while Bruce pretended not to fall apart. The others did one of two things: They either crowded him as if to protect him or they stayed far away from him. And perhaps the funny part of all of this was that they always switched roles. One day, it was Captain America who couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Bruce. The next, it would be the Black Widow.

And on and on until time passed.

He knew it had been two weeks since the café incident because Tony was keeping track of the days. Without his help, Bruce wouldn’t know. Because he was hardly sleeping and hardly eating and hardly doing much except lounge around the lab. It drove Tony crazy, Bruce could tell, but the billionaire refused to say anything. Just stood too close on some days and was gone the next. Bruce ignored him for the most part.

It was probably midnight (or maybe it had passed midnight or maybe it was before, Bruce wasn’t sure). He was standing by himself in the lab, which could mean number of things including Pepper was back and Tony was with her or it was one of those days where Tony couldn’t stand to be with Bruce. Bruce didn’t care. He was in the lab, staring at the lab equipment, wondering how things have gotten to this.

“Now there’s a sight for sore eyes.”

That wasn’t Tony’s voice. That wasn’t JARVIS’s voice, and it wasn’t anyone else on the team or out of it. Then who…?

Bruce turned to look and his mouth pulled back in distaste. “Deadpool.”

The masked man gave a small curtsey. “It’s always a pleasure to be recognized. I think it might be my handsome mask. Just makes everyone swoon and fall at my feet!”

“Where’s Clint?”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Deadpool said, wagging his finger at Bruce. “You don’t have the right to ask me that.”

“Don’t I?”

“You lost it the moment you decided that Clint Barton wasn’t worth fighting for. You lost it that moment in the café when you told him clearly that you preferred someone else over him. That someone else, who, by the way, is engaged to get married in… I think three months from now? You don’t get to turn around now and decide that you want him back.”

“Because you’re going to stop me?”

“Oh please no!” Deadpool said, snorting lightly. “Clint’ll have my ass if he found out that I tried to ‘protect’ him. Or maybe he’ll aim for my eyes again? Who knows? But I don’t need to stop you. Because you understand, don’t you? You know why you can’t go after him more than anyone else. And you know better than anyone else why he can’t come back.”

“Then why are you here? To gloat?” Bruce took a step towards the computer. Perhaps if he could get close enough, he could contact the rest of the Avengers to trap Deadpool…

“Don’t bother with the computer,” the masked man said. “JARVIS is taking a little nap right now and won’t be waking up until I’ve clearly left. You can’t catch me. There’s a reason why I’m one of the best. As for your question…” He shrugged. “Gloating isn’t really my cup of coffee. And to actually tell you why I’m here seems like cheating. So what about this? If you guess right, I’ll leave.”

Bruce sighed. “Are you always this insufferable with everyone?”

Deadpool just grinned and stared at Bruce through that creepy red and black mask.

“Are you here because you wanted to show someone that you can sneak in here?”

“Tempting, but nope.”

“Are you here because you were bored and you felt like it?”

“Nope! I do have better things to do with my life, you know.”

“Are you here for a mission?”

“Relax. I’m not going to kill anyone tonight. So nope. No mission.”

“Then…” Bruce paused. There was something in the back of his throat that was preventing this question from being asked. But he had to know. He had the right to know, didn’t he? He took a deep breath and tried again. “Are you here because Clint asked you to come?”

“Bingo.”

Bruce hadn’t known that one word could be filled with so much spite and malice. He stared at Deadpool, wondering what else was going to happen.

“And boy, I’m sure Hawky would love hearing that his old crush is now completely and utterly broken. He’s quite good at that, isn’t he? He’s rather good at leaving people behind, broken and useless.”

“That wasn’t Clint’s fault.”

Deadpool raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And now you’re defending him? Why the sudden change of heart, Doctor? Surely you can’t be thinking that something like this is going to make him come back to you or something?”

Bruce shook his head. Because that wasn’t what he was thinking. Was it? Damn it, now he couldn’t even think straight! What had Clint done to him? “Nothing like that. Just wanted to state the truth.”

The doctor didn’t need to see the hate to feel it in Deadpool’s gaze.

“You know, he’s rather fond of scars,” the masked man said. “He loves licking them, tracing them. He’s probably the only one who didn’t run after seeing my true face. You think you know what being a monster is, doctor, but I must correct you. You don’t know shit.”

Then the mask fell off and Bruce wasn’t staring into the Wade Wilson face that he saw on the camera, on the pictures of briefings Coulson gave them. He was staring at a deformed human’s face filled with scars that made Bruce flinch back in horror. What had happened? Wasn’t Deadpool known for his healing ability? Then why was his face so scarred up? Did something happen on a mission? And if Deadpool was this damaged, then what about Clint? Was he okay?

“This is what I really look like,” Wade said, spreading his arms wide as he began to make his way towards Bruce. “This is who I really am. And you just backed away from me, flinched at the sight of my face. You think you know what being a monster is, but try walking around with this face, this body. And then tell me that you know what being a monster is. Because you don’t know shit until you see eyes boring holes into you, accusing you of being a monster without hesitation. Not because I went apeshit crazy and destroyed buildings, but because _this_ is what I look like.”

Wade was now only two steps away from Bruce, but the doctor couldn’t move away. His eyes were trained to the scars on Wade’s face, his whole body frozen in horror.

“But do you know what Clint did when he saw me? He smiled. He fucking smiled and held me in his arms. Like this didn’t bother him. Like it was completely okay for me to be this disgusting. You think you know what being a monster is? Yeah, I think you do. Because you’re the monster that destroyed Clint’s heart without a second thought. You dared to hurt him, who’s been nothing but kind to you.”

They stood chest to chest, and Deadpool was finally silent. The two stared at each other’s eyes, one set filled with anger and hate, the other with guilt and horror. Because when they got down to the basic core of everything, Wade was right.

“If I could, I would have killed you,” he whispered. “But what kind of message would I be sending to the readers if I do that? So you get to live, Doctor. Live and remember forever what you’ve done. Suffer silently in the living memory that you drove Clint away, that you broke his heart, that you refused his kindness and love. And maybe that would give you a fraction of pain that Clint went through for you.”

Bruce didn’t think that he wanted to die as much as he did then. Not even when he first transformed. Not even when Betty was taken from him. Not even when he was on the run, when everything seemed to be crushing down on him. Not even when Betty called everything off. Not even when he was yelling at Clint in the café, telling him that he meant nothing. That the archer was an idiot for not seeing that Bruce didn’t like him. That the archer was an idiot for not being able to tell when someone isn’t in love.

But all this time, wasn’t the real idiot Bruce?

He watched Wade Wilson leave before he collapsed to the ground. When the rest of the team walk into the lab few hours later, the lab would be empty except for a single note that said, _I’m sorry._  



End file.
